What voodoo tricks can I use against my husband to force him to wash the dishes?

And you can not say sex!! Since my husband has no memory of what sex is?What voodoo tricks can I use against my husband to force him to wash the dishes?
Use the direct approach. Walk into the room with a doll that looks vaguely like him and a few very large pins.





Then inform him that if the dishes aren't done soon, he may be sorry. Then leave the room with the doll and the pins.





If that doesn't work, go back in the room and stab him in the azz with the pins. You did warn him after all.What voodoo tricks can I use against my husband to force him to wash the dishes?
The trick is quite simple, you find his favorite thing, his very very favorite thing. Then you hide it, he can not have it back until his chores are done.


I'm sure after ten or twelve times of pulling this trick he will start hiding his favorite thing to keep you from getting a hold of it. Then you simple find his second favorite thing. I'm sure you get the picture, and see that this is a fool proof system.


Aren't you proud of me, not one sexual comment or sexual innuendo. As long as one of his favorite things is nothing sexual.
why do females always play these kind of feminazi games? That is why females can't keep a man anymore.





Even if you are lucky enough to find a guy who ';cooks, sews, launders and does dishes'; like my sister did..... its only going to last a couple months before he reverts back to his true form : Man...... riding mower operator extraordinaire. (like her husband did).





Make your kids do the dishes like a normal housewife does.
Buy paper plates. This is what my sorry excuse of a wife does. She hasn't washed a plate in over six years. She also won't let me eat stuff she cooks. I have to wait until she leaves to go gamble or passes out from drinking scotch to go rummage through the leftovers. We managed to break all of our dishes years ago by tossing them at each other in our frequent fights so paper really has worked out well. As for sex -- i wouldn't touch that stinky skank of a wife of mine for anything. besides, she weighs 350lbs and i weigh about 400 so it would be impossible anyway.





You just think you have troubles....
Quit cooking for him. In our home we have a rule ';Whoever cooks doesn't have to clean the dishes';. Give it a try. You may have to eat cold cereal for a few days but that will get old and hopefully your husband will see HE needs to contribute somehow.
What does he like to do after dinner? Watch TV, play xbox or wii? Whatever it is, beat him to it. Excuse yourself from the dinner table before he does. Then run to whatever his favorite past time is and use it yourself. Tell him he can have it when the dishes are clean.
Paint a picture of a naked lady at the bottom of the sink---show him---fill it up with the dishes and suds and tell him the dishes will have to be done before he can see her again:)
Im a husband and the only thing that works for me is sex. sorry. Maybe you can try telling him that there is a XBOX and the bottom of the dishwater or something.
I will suggest this for you.


Do NOT tell my wife.








Go get your Voodoo Doll.


Take the longest needle out of the doll.





Go stick it in his but while chanting '; You will do the dishes';.
Compromise..... If he refuses to do certain housework, he should have to primarily do something else. Divvy out the chores based on the different chores rather than trying to split every one of them 50/50.
My hubby will actually do dishes. I make our male spawn do dishes all of the time, so that, maybe, their future wives won't have to resort to voodoo tricks.
Better to just accept it and let him do the things his dna has been adapted to do. Like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn.





EDIT: that's called sarcasm people. Dust off your funny bones.
Start serving all meals in previously used dishes. Either he starts washing or you don't have a problem, LOL.





You can use the disposable stuff...just keep it locked up.
Take away the remote control and beer.


Then do a little jig dance around his man chair while dusting it with glitter...





That should do the trick ;)
invest in 70 cases of paper plates cups ,plastic ware he may get the message.or ask him to buy you a dishwasher might work
i think my husband did them once in 25 yrs, but i forgot the voodoo words i must have used.
Walk into he room and say ';Please wash the dishes for me';


And walk away. Walking away is key.
so pushing pins into the dolls crotch wont help u? ok, try pins into the hands if u ask nicely and he doesnt move fast enuf?? ;)
Dangle no sex in front of him
Stop cooking?
when you find out will you let me know? I need it for my daughter! thanks. lol
when you find out what works will you tell me!!!! I have a dishwasher and can't even get him to load it!!!
have a hot curvy blonde take him out for a date
I begin to understand why he might not have any interest in sex .......





with you.