How can I have a conversation with my husband?

Anytime I venture to discuss issues that don't have to do with superficial, fun, surface stuff, my husband gets severely irritated, blows up at me and refuses to talk. I've realized too little too late that we really aren't partners in any sense but physical and it irks me that he's okay with this. I'm oh so miserable, but can't talk to him unless I have only pertinent, non-controversial things in mind.How can I have a conversation with my husband?
Ok, the first thing that needs to happen is to figure out what the problem is so it can be navigated.





WHY do you think he doesn't like to talk?





1.)His family, the way they grew up do not talk like this.


2.)He is afraid that he is being ';Attacked';


3.)He's afraid of exposing his inner self.


4.)The venue (The time and place) is not the best time and place to talk.











Some people are not talkers by nature.


Depending upon the reasons for him not talking, you can try the following:








Schedual a time to talk


Ask him what He thinks about XXXXX first, before you raise your concerns.


Let him know that you need XXXXX settled, and would like to talk about it. (Keep your voice very calm with a hint of anger or excitement, very logical, reguardless of what he says)





Talk in a public place were he must control himself or cause a scene.





good luckHow can I have a conversation with my husband?
Maybe if you scream at him he'll listen!


Some men are like that they act so ';I am GOD'; and when you tell them off they listen.


Tell him he needs to listen because you matter!


Honestly try that.


Good Luck and God Bless
You have to be strong and don't except his attitude, remember the person you were before you met your husband I bet you wouldn't take his moods then, nor should you now. tell him loud and clear enough is enough.
First off, being that he refuses to talk about anything, the chances that you'll ever be able to get him to go to counseling (even have a conversation about going to counceling) are slim to none. The first and most important conversation that you need to have with him is exactly what you are telling us: ';I don't feel that I can comunicate my feelings with you without it turning into a fight. I want us to be close, and to me, part of being close is about having conversations about real issues. I feel that is how we learn about one another and grow'; If he is unreceptive to this then you may need to tell him (and actually mean it) that if things don't change and he is unwilling to make an effort then he needs to know that your relationship is at stake.


Good luck to you.
Well if he refuses to listen explain to him that whenever he decides to be ';grown up'; you will both discuss things, and just walk away, cut him off and walk away. Do the same to him whenever he wants to talk to you about anything, pertinent or not. You never mentioned how old , but sounds like he is ';immature.';


If that fails I think the next conversation should be with a divorce lawyer!
Do you have a mutual, close friend who can sit down with the two of you and mediate? If not, maybe your pastor or marriage counseling. If he won't go for any of those, dump his sorry ***.
I had this problem with my ex. If I tried to talk to him seriously, he either made it into a joke or became furious. Unfortunately, I don't have a good answer for you. Attempting to discuss the problem, in my case, just led to more joking and/or anger. In the end, I asked him if would like to see a marriage counselor and he refused.


I had hoped that when he saw that the issue was serious enough that I was going to leave, he would attempt to face the problem, but he didn't. It is extremely difficult to have a one-sided relationship like that.


I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find a way to make it work.
If it's something that you absolutely can't work out yourself and feel the need to HAVE to discuss it, then make it short and to the point. Girls tend to talk too much, ask a lot of ';feely'; questions, and quite frankly we're not really hard wired for that drawn out garbage. You could've married a more feminine kind of guy I guess.
suggest counseling bc you don't feel like you can talk to him
He may have deep intimacy issues. You are probably trying to take the relationship to the next level, beyond the honeymoon stage. Men who have not had exposure to appropriate intimacy in childhood (ie. with mom or dad) typicaly do not know how to handle intimacy as adults in a relationship, when it stares them straight in the face. I suggest marriage counseling if you can talk him into it. If he resists, then go to your local church and seek the spiritual guidance from your pastor. Many times, it is the wife who must initiate the first move, to make the marriage work. Women were designed to have a sixth sense to detect and correct possible problems. I would also read: Act of Marriage by Dr. Tim LaHaye - a timeless resource for couples of any age. Good luck.
Same thing happened with the woman I left after 8 years...after some time, I discovered all of the ';quality time'; we spend together where nothing more than complaint/b-cth sessions, and that get's SO old...
You know, I've never understood why most guys don't like nice long heart to hearts with their wives and girlfriends.
get a friend to talk with. My best friend is a female and we can talk about anything, and it helps us both
That is exactly one of the reasons I left my husband
Write him a letter telling him how you feel and slip it in his pocket when he goes to work.
Counseling is the only thing that I can recommend. It sounds to me that is the only way to get him to truly listen to what you have to say. If he refuses to go with you, go by yourself.





I hope everything works out for you
Timing is SOOO important , does he ask what you want for say, Mother's Day ? A birthday , or does he ask for anything? You can say I'd like to be able to talk about some things .. before we go on vacation or before we make love i really need to talk to you. Remember there is always counseling and if he won't go , go by yourself. Good luck
you both went into this 50/50 and he should keep up his part of the deal=he sounds immature to me =perhaps some counselling would help